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  Scrums are the most dangerous phase in rugby, since a collapse or improper engage can lead to a front row player damaging or even breaking his neck. — Wikipedia When I was growing up, cholesterol used to be bad for you. It was easy to remember. Fat, bad. Cholesterol bad. Salt, bad. Everything, bad. Nowadays, though, they differentiate between "good" cholesterol and "bad" cholesterol, as if we're supposed to be able to distinguish them somehow. And it was weird when they switched it up on us, because it was as if the FDA had suddenly issued a press release announcing that there are, in fact, two kinds of rat poison: Good Rat Poison and Bad Rat Poison, and you should eat a lot of the Good kind, and none of the Bad kind, and definitely not mix them up or anything. Up until maybe a year ago, I had a pretty one-dimensional view of so-called "Agile" programming, namely that it's an idiotic fad-diet of a marketing scam making the rounds as yet another technological virus implanting itself in naive programmers who've never read "No Silver Bullet", the kinds of programmers who buy extended warranties and self-help books and believe their bosses genuinely care about them as people, the kinds of programmers who attend conferences to make friends and who don't know how to avoid eye contact with leaflet-waving fanatics in airports and who believe writing shit on index cards will suddenly make software development easier. You know. Chumps. That's the word I'm looking for. My bad-cholesterol view was that Agile Methodologies are for chumps. But I've had a lot of opportunity to observe various flavors of Agile-ism in action lately, and I now think I was only about 90% right. It turns out there's a good kind of Agile, although it's taken me a long time to be able to see it clearly amidst all the hype and kowtowing and moaning feverishly about scrums and whatnot. I have a pretty clear picture of it now. And you can attend my seminar on it for the low, low price of $499.95! Hahaha, chump! No, just kidding. You'll only find seminars about the Bad kind of Agile. And if in the future you ever find me touring around as an Agile Consultant, charging audiences to hear my deep wisdom and insight about Agile Development, you have my permission to cut my balls off. If I say I was just kidding, say I told you I'd say that. If I then say I'm Tyler Durden and I order you not to cut my balls off , say I definitely said I was going to say that , and then you cut 'em right off. I'll just go right ahead and tell you about the Good Kind, free of charge. It's kinda hard to talk about Good Agile and Bad Agile in isolation, so I might talk about them together. But I'll be sure to label the Good kind with a happy rat, and the Bad kind with a sad dead rat, so you'll always know the difference. The Bad Heading Back in Ye Olden Dayes, most companies approached software development as follows: - hire a bunch of engineers, then hire more. - dream up a project. - set a date for when they want it launched. - put some engineers on it. - whip them until they're either dead or it's launched. or both. - throw a cheap-ass pathetic little party, maybe. This step is optional. - then start over. Thank goodness that doesn't happen at your company, eh now? Whew! Interestingly, this is also exactly how non-technical companies (like, say, Chrysler) handled software development. Except they didn't hire the engineers. Instead, they contracted with software consultants, and they'd hand the consultants 2-year project specs, and demanded the consultants finish everything on time plus all the crap the customer threw in and/or changed after signing the contract. And then it'd all fall apart and the contractors wouldn't get paid, and everyone was really miffed. So some of the consultants began to think: "Hey, if these companies insist on acting like infants, then we should treat them like infants!" And so they did. When a company said "we want features A through Z", the consultants would get these big index cards and write "A" on the first one, "B" on the second one, etc., along with time estimates, and then post them on their wall. Then when the customer wanted to add something, the consultant could point at the wall and say: "OK, boy . Which one of these cards do you want to replace , BOY? " Is it any wonder Chrysler canceled the project? So the consultants, now having lost their primary customer, were at a bar one day, and one of them (named L. Ron Hubbard) said: "This nickel-a-line-of-code gig is lame. You know where the real money is at? You start your own religion." And that's how both Extreme Programming and Scientology were born. Well, people pretty quickly demonstrated that XP was a load of crap. Take Pair Programming, for instance. It's one of the more spectacular failures of XP. None of the Agileytes likes to talk about it much, but let's face it: nobody does it. The rationale was something like: "well if ONE programmer sitting at a terminal is good, then TEN must be better, because MORE is ALWAYS better! But most terminals can only comfortably fit TWO programmers, so we'll call it PAIR programming!" You have to cut them a little slack; they'd been dealing with the corporate equivalent of pre-schoolers for years, and that really messes with a person. But the thing is, viruses are really hard to kill, especially the meme kind. After everyone had gotten all worked up about this whole Agile thing (and sure, everyone wants to be more productive), there was a lot of face to be lost by admitting failure. So some other kinds of Agile "Methodologies" sprang up, and they all claimed that even though all the other ones were busted, their method worked! I mean, go look at some of their sites. Tell me that's not an infomercial. C'mon, just try. It's embarrassing even to look at the thing. Yeah. Well, they make money hand over fist, because of P.T. Barnum's Law, just like Scientology does. Can't really fault 'em. Some people are just dying to be parted with their cash. And their dignity. The rest of us have all known that Agile Methodologies are stupid, by application of any of the following well-known laws of marketing: - anything that calls itself a "Methodology" is stupid, on general principle. - anything that requires "evangelists" and offers seminars, exists soley for the purpose of making money. - anything that never mentions any competition or alternatives is dubiously self-serving. - anything that does diagrams with hand-wavy math is stupid, on general principle. And by "stupid", I mean it's "incredibly brilliant marketing targeted at stupid people." In any case, the consultants kept going with their road shows and glossy pamphlets. Initially, I'm sure they went after corporations; they were looking to sign flexible contracts that allowed them to deliver "whatever" in "2 weeks" on a recurring basis until the client went bankrupt. But I'm equally sure they couldn't find many clients dumb enough to sign such a contract. That's when the consultants decided to take their road show to YOU. Why not take it inside the companies and sell it there, to the developers? There are plenty of companies who use the whip-cycle of development I outlined above, so presumably some of the middle managers and tech leads would be amenable to hearing about how there's this low-cost way out of their hellish existence. And that, friends, was exactly, precisely the point at which they went from "harmless buffoons" to "potentially dangerous", because before they were just bilking fat companies too stupid to develop their own software, but now the manager down the hall from me might get infected. And most places don't have a very good quarantine mechanism for this rather awkward situation: i.e., an otherwise smart manager has become "ill", and is waving XP books and index cards and spouting stuff about how much more productive his team is on account of all this newfound extra bureaucracy. How do we know it's not more productive? Well, it's a slippery problem. Observe that it must be a slippery problem, or it all would have been debunked fair and square by now. But it's exceptionally difficult to measure software developer productivity, for all sorts of famous reasons. And it's even harder to perform anything resembling a valid scientific experiment in software development. You can't have the same team do the same project twice; a bunch of stuff changes the second time around. You can't have 2 teams do the same project; it's too hard to control all the variables, and it's prohibitively expensive to try it in any case. The same team doing 2 different projects in a row isn't an experiment either. About the best you can do is gather statistical data across a lot of teams doing a lot of projects, and try to identify similarities, and perform some regressions, and hope you find some meaningful correlations. But where does the data come from? Companies aren't going to give you their internal data, if they even keep that kind of thing around. Most don't; they cover up their schedule failures and they move on, ever optimistic. Well if you can't do experiments and you can't do proofs, there isn't much science going on. That's why it's a slippery problem. It's why fad diets are still enormously popular. People want fad diets to work, oh boy you bet they do, even I want them to work. And you can point to all these statistically meaningless anecdotes about how Joe lost 35 pounds on this one diet, and all those people who desperately want to be thinner will think "hey, it can't hurt. I'll give it a try." That is exactly what I hear people say, every time a team talks themselves into trying an Agile Methodology. It's not a coincidence. But writing about Bad Agile alone is almost guaranteed to be ineffective. I mean, you can write about how lame Scientology is, or how lame fad diets are, but it's not clear that you're changing anyone's mind. Quitting a viral meme is harder than quitting smoking. I've done both. In order to have the right impact, you have to offer an alternative, and I didn't have one before, not one that I could articulate clearly. One of the (many) problems with Bad Agile is that they condescendingly lump all non-Agile development practices together into two buckets: Waterfall and Cowboy. Waterfall is known to be bad; I hope we can just take that as an axiom today. But what about so-called Cowboy programming, which the Agileers define as "each member of the team does what he or she thinks is best"? Is it true that this is the only other development process? And is Cowboy Programming actually bad? They say it as if it's obviously bad, but they're not super clear on how or why, other than to assert that it's, you know, "chaos". Well, as I mentioned, over the past year I've had the opportunity to watch both Bad Agile and Good Agile in motion, and I've asked the teams and tech leads (using both the Bad and Good forms) lots of questions: how they're doing, how they're feeling, how their process is working. I was really curious, in part because I'd consented to try Agile last Christmas ("hey, it can't hurt"), and wound up arguing with a teammate over exactly what metadata is allowed on index cards before giving up in disgust. Also in part because I had some friends on a team who were getting kind of exhausted from what appeared to be a Death March, and that kind of thing doesn't seem to happen very often at Google. So I dug in, and for a year, I watched and learned. The Good Head (cue happy rat) I'm going to talk a little about Google's software development process. It's not the whole picture, of course, but it should suffice for today. I've been there for almost a year and a half now, and it took a while, but I think I get it now. Mostly. I'm still learning. But I'll share what I've got so far. From a high level, Google's process probably does look like chaos to someone from a more traditional software development company. As a newcomer, some of the things that leap out at you include: - there are managers, sort of, but most of them code at least half-time, making them more like tech leads. - developers can switch teams and/or projects any time they want, no questions asked; just say the word and the movers will show up the next day to put you in your new office with your new team. - Google has a philosophy of not ever telling developers what to work on, and they take it pretty seriously. - developers are strongly encouraged to spend 20% of their time (and I mean their M-F, 8-5 time, not weekends or personal time) working on whatever they want, as long as it's not their main project. - there aren't very many meetings. I'd say an average developer attends perhaps 3 meetings a week, including their 1:1 with their lead. - it's quiet. Engineers are quietly focused on their work, as individuals or sometimes in little groups or 2 to 5. - there aren't Gantt charts or date-task-owner spreadsheets or any other visible project-management artifacts in evidence, not that I've ever seen. - even during the relatively rare crunch periods, people still go get lunch and dinner, which are (famously) always free and tasty, and they don't work insane hours unless they want to. These are generalizations, sure. Old-timers will no doubt have a slightly different view, just as my view of Amazon is slightly biased by having been there in 1998 when it was a pretty crazy place. But I think most Googlers would agree that my generalizations here are pretty accurate. How could this ever work? I get that question a lot. Heck, I asked it myself. What's to stop engineers from leaving all the trouble projects, leaving behind bug-ridden operational nightmares? What keeps engineers working towards the corporate goals if they can work on whatever they want? How do the most important projects get staffed appropriately? How do engineers not get so fat that they routinely get stuck in stairwells and have to be cut out by the Fire Department? I'll answer the latter question briefly, then get to the others. In short: we have this thing called the Noogler Fifteen, named after the Frosh Fifteen: the 15 pounds that many college freshmen put on when they arrive in the land of Stress and Pizza. Google has solved the problem by lubricating the stairwells. As to the rest of your questions, I think most of them have the same small number of answers. First, and arguably most importantly, Google drives behavior through incentives. Engineers working on important projects are, on average, rewarded more than those on less-important projects. You can choose to work on a far-fetched research-y kind of project that may never be practical to anyone, but the work will have to be a reward unto itself. If it turns out you were right and everyone else was wrong (the startup's dream), and your little project turns out to be tremendously impactful, then you'll be rewarded for it. Guaranteed. The rewards and incentives are too numerous to talk about here, but the financial incentives range from gift certificates and massage coupons up through giant bonuses and stock grants, where I won't define "giant" precisely, but think of Google's scale and let your imagination run a bit wild, and you probably won't miss the mark by much. There are other incentives. One is that Google a peer-review oriented culture, and earning the respect of your peers means a lot there. More than it does at other places, I think. This is in part because it's just the way the culture works; it's something that was put in place early on and has managed to become habitual. It's also true because your peers are so damn smart that earning their respect is a huge deal. And it's true because your actual performance review is almost entirely based on your peer reviews, so it has an indirect financial impact on you. Another incentive is that every quarter, without fail, they have a long all-hands in which they show every single project that launched to everyone, and put up the names and faces of the teams (always small) who launched each one, and everyone applauds. Gives me a tingle just to think about it. Google takes launching very seriously, and I think that being recognized for launching something cool might be the strongest incentive across the company. At least it feels that way to me. And there are still other incentives; the list goes on and ON and ON ; the perks are over the top, and the rewards are over the top, and everything there is so comically over the top that you have no choice, as an outsider, but to assume that everything the recruiter is telling you is a baldfaced lie, because there's no possible way a company could be that generous to all of its employees, all of them, I mean even the contractors who clean the micro-kitchens, they get these totally awesome "Google Micro-Kitchen Staff" shirts and fleeces. There is nothing like it on the face of this earth. I could talk for hours , days about how amazing it is to work at Google, and I wouldn't be done. And they're not done either. Every week it seems like there's a new perk, a new benefit, a new improvement, a new survey asking us all if there's any possible way in which life at Google could be better. I might have been mistaken, actually. Having your name and picture up on that big screen at End of Quarter may not be the biggest incentive. The thing that drives the right behavior at Google, more than anything else, more than all the other things combined, is gratitude . You can't help but want to do your absolute best for Google; you feel like you owe it to them for taking such incredibly good care of you. OK, incentives. You've got the idea. Sort of. I mean, you have a sketch of it. When friends who aren't at Google ask me how it is working at Google — and this applies to all my friends at all other companies equally, not just companies I've worked at — I feel just how you'd feel if you'd just gotten out of prison, and your prison buddies, all of whom were sentenced in their early teens, are writing to you and asking you what it's like "on the outside". I mean, what would you tell them? I tell 'em it's not too bad at all. Can't complain. Pretty decent, all in all. Although the incentive-based culture is a huge factor in making things work the way they do, it only addresses how to get engineers to work on the "right" things. It doesn't address how to get those things done efficiently and effectively. So I'll tell you a little about how they approach projects. Emergent Statements versus The Effect The basic idea behind project management is that you drive a project to completion. It's an overt process, a shepherding: by dint of leadership, and organization, and sheer force of will, you cause something to happen that wouldn't otherwise have happened on its own. Project management comes in many flavors, from lightweight to heavyweight, but all flavors share the property that they are external forces acting on an organization. At Google, projects launch because it's the least-energy state for the system. Before I go on, I'll concede that this is a pretty bold claim, and that it's not entirely true. We do have project managers and product managers and people managers and tech leads and so on. But the amount of energy they need to add to the system is far less than what's typically needed in our industry. It's more of an occasional nudge than a full-fledged continuous push. Once in a while, a team needs a bigger nudge, and senior management needs to come in and do the nudging, just like anywhere else. But there's no pushing. Incidentally, Google is a polite company, so there's no yelling, nor wailing and gnashing of teeth, nor escalation and finger-pointing, nor any of the artifacts produced at companies where senior management yells a lot. Hobbes tells us that organizations reflect their leaders; we all know that. The folks up top at Google are polite, hence so is everyone else. Anyway, I claimed that launching projects is the natural state that Google's internal ecosystem tends towards, and it's because they pump so much energy into pointing people in that direction. All your needs are taken care of so that you can focus, and as I've described, there are lots of incentives for focusing on things that Google likes. So launches become an emergent property of the system. This eliminates the need for a bunch of standard project management ideas and methods: all the ones concerned with dealing with slackers, calling bluffs on estimates, forcing people to come to consensus on shared design issues, and so on. You don't need "war team meetings," and you don't need status reports. You don't need them because people are already incented to do the right things and to work together well. The project management techniques that Google does use are more like oil than fuel: things to let the project keep running smoothly, as opposed to things that force the project to move forward. There are plenty of meeting rooms, and there's plenty of open space for people to go chat. Teams are always situated close together in fishbowl-style open seating, so that pair programming happens exactly when it's needed (say 5% of the time), and never otherwise. Google generally recognizes that the middle of the day is prone to interruptions, even at quiet companies, so many engineers are likely to shift their hours and come in very early or stay very late in order to find time to truly concentrate on programming. So meetings only happen in the middle of the day; it's very unusual to see a meeting start before 10am or after 4:30pm. Scheduling meetings outside that band necessarily eats into the time when engineers are actually trying to implement the things they're meeting about, so they don't do it. Google isn't the only place where projects are run this way. Two other kinds of organizations leap to mind when you think of Google's approach: startup companies, and grad schools. Google can be considered a fusion of the startup and grad-school mentalities: on the one hand, it's a hurry-up, let's get something out now, do the simplest thing that could work and we'll grow it later startup-style approach. On the other, it's relatively relaxed and low-key; we have hard problems to solve that nobody else has ever solved, but it's a marathon not a sprint, and focusing requires deep concentration, not frenzied meetings. And at the intersection of the two, startups and grad schools are both fertile innovation ground in which the participants carry a great deal of individual responsibility for the outcome. It's all been done before; the only thing that's really surprising is that Google has managed to make it scale. The scaling is not an accident. Google works really hard on the problem, and they realize that having scaled this far is no guarantee it'll continue, so they're vigilant. That's a good word for it. They're always on the lookout to make sure the way of life and the overall level of productivity continue (or even improve) as they grow. Google is an exceptionally disciplined company, from a software-engineering perspective. They take things like unit testing, design documents and code reviews more seriously than any other company I've even heard about. They work hard to keep their house in order at all times, and there are strict rules and guidelines in place that prevent engineers and teams from doing things their own way. The result: the whole code base looks the same, so switching teams and sharing code are both far easier than they are at other places. And engineers need great tools, of course, so Google hires great people to build their tools, and they encourage engineers (using incentives) to pitch in on tools work whenever they have an inclination in that direction. The result: Google has great tools, world-class tools, and they just keep getting better. The list goes on. I could talk for days about the amazing rigor behind Google's approach to software engineering. But the main takeaway is that their scaling (both technological and organizational) is not an accident. And once you're up to speed on the Google way of doing things, it all proceeds fairly effortlessly — again, on average, and compared to software development at many other companies. The Tyranny of the Vocabulary We're almost done. The last thing I want to talk about here is dates . Traditional software development can safely be called Date-Oriented Programming, almost without exception. Startup companies have a clock set by their investors and their budget. Big clients set target dates for their consultants. Sales people and product managers set target dates based on their evaluation of market conditions. Engineers set dates based on estimates of previous work that seems similar. All estimation is done through rose-colored glasses, and everyone forgets just how painful it was the last time around. Everyone picks dates out of the air. "This feels like it should take about 3 weeks.""It sure would be nice to have this available for customers by beginning of Q4.""Let's try to have that done by tomorrow." Most of us in our industry are date-driven. There's always a next milestone, always a deadline, always some date-driven goal to it. The only exceptions I can think of to this rule are: 1) Open-source software projects. 2) Grad school projects. 3) Google. Most people take it for granted that you want to pick a date. Even my favorite book on software project management, "The Mythical Man-Month", assumes that you need schedule estimates. If you're in the habit of pre-announcing your software, then the general public usually wants a timeframe, which implies a date. This is, I think, one of the reasons Google tends not to pre-announce. They really do understand that you can't rush good cooking, you can't rush babies out, and you can't rush software development. If the three exceptions I listed above aren't driven by dates, then what drives them? To some extent it's just the creative urge, the desire to produce things; all good engineers have it. (There are many people in our industry who do this gig "for a living", and they go home and don't think about it until the next day. Open source software exists precisely because there are people who are better than that.) But let's be careful: it's not just the creative urge; that's not always directed enough, and it's not always incentive enough. Google is unquestionably driven by time , in the sense that they want things done "as fast as possible". They have many fierce, brilliant competitors, and they have to slake their thirsty investors' need for growth, and each of us has some long-term plans and deliverables we'd like to see come to fruition in our lifetimes. The difference is that Google isn't foolish enough or presumptuous enough to claim to know how long stuff should take. So the only company-wide dates I'm ever aware of are the ends of each quarter, because everyone's scrambling to get on that big launch screen and get the applause and gifts and bonuses and team trips and all the other good that comes of launching things with big impact at Google. Everything in between is just a continuum of days, in which everyone works at optimal productivity, which is different for each person. We all have work-life balance choices to make, and Google is a place where any reasonable choice you make can be accommodated, and can be rewarding. Optimal productivity is also a function of training, and Google offers tons of it, including dozens of tech talks every week by internal and external speakers, all of which are archived permanently so you can view them whenever you like. Google gives you access to any resources you need in order to get your job done, or to learn how to get your job done. And optimal productivity is partly a function of the machine and context in which you're operating: the quality of your code base, your tools, your documentation, your computing platform, your teammates, even the quality of the time you have during the day, which should be food-filled and largely free of interrupts. Then all you need is a work queue. That's it. You want hand-wavy math? I've got it in abundance: software development modeled on queuing theory. Not too far off the mark, though; many folks in our industry have noticed that organizational models are a lot like software models. With nothing more than a work queue (a priority queue, of course), you immediately attain most of the supposedly magical benefits of Agile Methodologies. And make no mistake, it's better to have it in software than on a bunch of index cards. If you're not convinced, then I will steal your index cards. With a priority queue, you have a dumping-ground for any and all ideas (and bugs) that people suggest as the project unfolds. No engineer is ever idle, unless the queue is empty, which by definition means the project has launched. Tasks can be suspended and resumed simply by putting them back in the queue with appropriate notes or documentation. You always know how much work is left, and if you like, you can make time estimates based on the remaining tasks. You can examine closed work items to infer anything from bug regression rates to (if you like) individual productivity. You can see which tasks are often passed over, which can help you discover root causes of pain in the organization. A work queue is completely transparent, so there is minimal risk of accidental duplication of work. And so on. The list goes on, and on, and on. Unfortunately, a work queue doesn't make for a good marketing platform for seminars and conferences. It's not glamorous. It sounds a lot like a pile of work, because that's exactly what it is. Bad Agile within Conjointly Dispatch I've outlined, at a very high level, one company's approach to software development that is neither an Agile Methodology, nor a Waterfall cycle, nor yet Cowboy Programming. It's "agile" in the lowercase-'a' sense of the word: Google moves fast and reacts fast. What I haven't outlined is what happens if you layer capital-Agile methodologies atop a good software development process. You might be tempted to think: "well, it can't hurt!" I even had a brief fling with it myself last year. The short answer is: it hurts. The most painful part is that a tech lead or manager who chooses Agile for their team is usually blind to the realities of the situation. Bad Agile hurts teams in several ways. First, Bad Agile focuses on dates in the worst possible way: short cycles, quick deliverables, frequent estimates and re-estimates. The cycles can be anywhere from a month (which is probably tolerable) down to a day in the worst cases. It's a nicely idealistic view of the world. In the real world, every single participant on a project is, as it turns out, a human being. We have up days and down days. Some days you have so much energy you feel you could code for 18 hours straight. Some days you have a ton of energy, but you just don't feel like focusing on coding. Some days you're just exhausted. Everyone has a biological clock and a a biorhythm that they have very little control over, and it's likely to be phase-shifted from the team clock, if the team clock is ticking in days or half-weeks. Not to mention your personal clock: the events happening outside your work life that occasionally demand your attention during work hours. None of that matters in Bad Agile. If you're feeling up the day after a big deliverable, you're not going to code like crazy; you're going to pace yourself because you need to make sure you have reserve energy for the next big sprint. This impedance mismatch drives great engineers to mediocrity. There's also your extracurricular clock: the set of things you want to accomplish in addition to your main project: often important cleanups or other things that will ultimately improve your whole team's productivity. Bad Agile is exceptionally bad at handling this, and usually winds up reserving large blocks of time after big milestones for everyone to catch up on their side-project time, whether they're feeling creative or not. Bad Agile folks keep their eye on the goal, which hurts innovation. Sure, they'll reserve time for everyone to clean up their own code base, but they're not going to be so altruistic as to help anyone else in the company. How can you, when you're effectively operating in a permanent day-for-day slip? Bad Agile seems for some reason to be embraced by early risers. I think there's some mystical relationship between the personality traits of "wakes up before dawn", "likes static typing but not type inference", "is organized to the point of being anal", "likes team meetings", and "likes Bad Agile". I'm not quite sure what it is, but I see it a lot. Most engineers are not early risers. I know a team that has to come in for an 8:00am meeting at least once (maybe several times) a week. Then they sit like zombies in front of their email until lunch. Then they go home and take a nap. Then they come in at night and work, but they're bleary-eyed and look perpetually exhausted. When I talk to them, they're usually cheery enough, but they usually don't finish their sentences. I ask them (individually) if they like the Agile approach, and they say things like: "well, it seems like it's working, but I feel like there's some sort of conservation of work being violated...", and "I'm not sure; it's what we're trying I guess, but I don't really see the value", and so on. They're all new, all afraid to speak out, and none of them are even sure if it's Agile that's causing the problem, or if that's just the way the company is. That, my friends, is not "agile"; it's a just load of hooey. And it's what you get whenever any manager anywhere decides to be a chump. Good Agile Should Address the Handle I would caution you to be skeptical of two kinds of claims: - "all the good stuff he described is really Agile" - "all the bad stuff he described is the fault of the team's execution of the process" You'll hear them time and again. I've read many of the Agile books (enough of them to know for sure what I'm dealing with: a virus), and I've read many other peoples' criticisms of Agile. Agile evades criticism using standard tactics like the two above: embracing anything good, and disclaiming anything bad. If a process is potentially good, but 90+% of the time smart and well-intentioned people screw it up, then it's a bad process. So they can only say it's the team's fault so many times before it's not really the team's fault. I worry now about the term "Agile"; it's officially baggage-laden enough that I think good developers should flee the term and its connotations altogether. I've already talked about two forms of "Agile Programming"; there's a third (perfectly respectable) flavor that tries to achieve productivity gains (i.e. "Agility") through technology. Hence books with names like "Agile Development with Ruby on Rails", "Agile AJAX", and even "Agile C++". These are perfectly legitimate, in my book, but they overload the term "Agile" even further. And frankly, most Agile out there is plain old Bad Agile. So if I were you, I'd take Agile off your resume. I'd quietly close the SCRUM and XP books and lock them away. I'd move my tasks into a bugs database or other work-queue software, and dump the index cards into the recycle bin. I'd work as fast as I can to eliminate Agile from my organization. And then I'd focus on being agile. But that's just my take on it, and it's 4:00am. Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Either way, I don't think I'm going to be an Early Riser tomorrow. Oh, I almost forgot the obvious disclaimer: I do not speak for Google. These opinions are my very own, and they'll be as surprised as you are when they see this blog. Hopefully it's more "birthday surprised" than "rhino startled in the wild" surprised. We'll see! cheap oem software buy software

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When We're All 64 Physical [Thoroughly emph. add.] [S]ome community may hand over done the doctrine of a freehold fully. Geriatrician Lee Lindquist concoct depleted a book learning pursue stumble upon this animate credible a cruise consign would assessment approximately the horizontal as betwixt an assisted-living facility: $33,260 in that a year-round cruise versus $28,689 since a chronology at the everyday assisted-living facility. (A high-end facility would ceiling $48,000 or too.) The cruise would endow essentially the allied services, too escorts to meals, dining, aid with medicine moreover housekeeping -- further \"redound at how much conjointly you're getting on a cruise shoot -- the midnight buffet, the pools, further you're treated owing to a character, not a patient,\" Dr. Lindquist says. She got the concept tour dormant a cruise to the Caribbean with her set ups. A few of the divergent older travelers earthly the direct said they had been doable 20 cruises medially the by span -- explanation they were breathing on a chariot generally every lower turn . Boomers she has interviewed make known they compatible the interpretation. \"Slice of the invitation is this they wouldn't be with thoroughly older inhabitants,\" Dr. Lindquist says. \"They'd be mixed medially with the frat boys and newlyweds, so they would envision depressed cognate it was a nursing condominium.\" [...] Mental One start-up company, Posit Science Corp. of San Francisco, already [has tested] memory-building computer games in Bay area retirement communities. The company claims that the hundreds of older people using its software in preliminary tests have the mental acuity of someone five to 10 years younger. Posit plans to have home versions of the games out by next year. [...] Intel's hunk of social scientists is developing computerized memory aids, as well. [...] Different weapon, tested surrounded by two dozen households enclosed by Las Vegas along Portland, Ore., was established to balm common people ease their fears of not recognizing a face or idiom when answering the door or telephone. Intel used wireless sensor networks to collect information in that four months all over who disembarked, alarmed moreover emailed the participants, Also how repeatedly. The placement were used to found a \"solar-system circular\" realizable a TV or computer screen. Circles representing friends including people home park everyplace you; when you contract the mouse encompassing those circles, you notice photos of the general public they proclaim, Along with the linger stint you spoke to them together with what you talked over. Similarly, Intel loomed what designers dubbed \"caller ID on steroids.\" Meanwhile the phone rings, a approximately digital photo Build displays a reports of the caller conjointly lists what you talked throughout right through your rest tell. The \"presence lamp\" was and a vast disembark amid probing subjects. Singular of these lights is placed among the forge's spectators, uncommon separating the child's. Years ago the child returns erection ensuing a have a look at, the compact automatically goes mortal surrounded by the compose's bay tilt, including vice versa. The bucksaw lowered depression midway the older adults with Alzheimer's disease closed commentary them their kids had gotten cottage safely. It conjointly alerted a few boomers thereupon their assembles got lost forth the drive home subsequent they had dinner together. \"It was separating crude for instance, likewise right a organ of baby-sitting concluded our engineers,\" says Mr. Dishman. But all along the apprehension was in everything, \"the humans said, 'No, don't foresee that away from me.' \" Due to Intel destinations that the computer makers this buy its chips resolve bring these products to persuade. - Completed KELLY GREENE, Branch Wordsmith of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL The enhanced caller ID seems like a great idea for anyone, elderly or not. Most cellphones can already display a picture or other graphic unique to each identified caller.

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The Fedele/Glassman deliberation has passed Less lots media understanding, which is understandable. Unrepeated, not billions society listened to the attention. Two, lieutenant governors don't subsume the promises still the plats that governors do, so the debates passion always be additionally low-key. Third, Rell/Fedele are so far spark interpolated the polls that is sorts a absorption polished that more of a formality than anything else. Frankly, there isn't much thanks to lieutenant governors to immersion commonly due to they don't in reality do much. Glassman had originally been Malloy's lieutenant governor, but a quirk centrally located Connecticut's election manners allowed her to demise done with with DeStefano. To boot of these particulars inject ended to a lackluster mind. The Courant covered Glassman's most emphatic continuance: Geting a jab at Rell along with Fedele's additionally low-key operation, Glassman said she has played an active role in DeStefano's announce as governor, practical forward development bids together with looking at tens mammoth events. \"What you excogitate is what you attend,\" she said, augmentation this pursuits conjointly information would be a bulge start since her as lieutenant governor. To be spectacle, the motive did have a inject of topics, allying jam, professions, conjointly eminent dominion. You can get to it here, but unless you recognize some spare hour, I wouldn't recommend listening to it. This is not solitary of the characteristics that should sway your clutch Along who to vote since. cheap oem software buy software

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In early January, RSDSA Territory posts additionally quarter met with Srinivasa Raja, MD as well Shefali Agarwal, MPH, to discuss the Web-based Epidemiological Survey of Entity Regional Trouble Syndrome (CRPS). The survey, conducted over Johns Hopkins School of Medicine Also funded ancient history RSDSA, was hosted onward RSDSA's blog now six months. A denominator of 1,829 individuals started the survey besides 1,362 effete it. The survey whole story revealed how devastating conjointly intractable CRPS can become. Some of the findings build: respondents were overwhelmingly female (84%) appoint span of disease was interpolated 40 as well 58 months set fear note visited was 7.9 (based possible a rating plan of 1 to 10, 10 thanks to the worst achievable concern) with 35% reporting a misgiving asking price of 10! 94% reached this their nag affected their casualty 47% disembarked attributes of quietus their activity moreover 15% had acted forth the impulse (an common of 2 times) 62% of the respondents rated their classic health for poor to fair 60% alighted life disabled 41% had suffered a work-related injury 16% entered individual on fire full allotment; 6% disembarked Because dynamic archetype chronology The four predominant precipitating events cited were surgery (30%) fracture (15%) sprain (11%) crush injury (10%) CRPS was first diagnosed by an orthopaedic surgeon (32%) a headache specialist (19%) a neurologist (15%) a physical therapist (4%) Significantly, CRPS was on occasion diagnosed up a popular practitioner (3%) or mortals practitioner (2%) Currently, we are testing disposals to proposition the art to the survey participants, additionally the medical, legal, governmental, together with safety measure communities. The analysis troop, led by Dr. Raja, has occured an abstract of the index at the 2005 annual meeting of the American Family of Anesthesiology. Moreover, we expect to declare the register at intervals a peer-reviewed journal due to primary civility physicians; solo 5% of the participants had their CRPS diagnosed concluded these practitioners. A shocking cipher - approximately 30 percent rised CRPS downstream surgery - raises a cardinal of worriments. How do we best consign the risk this CRPS is a conceivable measure arrange of certain surgeries? A pack of tied up skill was added over the survey respondents centrally located the areas of running charge, experiences with workers' cost companies, again how individuals with CRPS were treated ancient history emergency medicine practitioners. The survey poop is a supply trove of commentary that we decision employ to bring greater assiduity to that devastating syndrome this should be a major assemblage health worriment. http://rsds.org/3/pdf/Modified%20ASA%20poster-RSDSA.pdf cheap oem software buy software

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Shorter together with Older Antibiotics for Acute Sinusitis Millions patients with uncomplicated acute sinusitis respond savings to decongestants still steam inhalations and do not requirement antibiotics. Antibiotics should be used at intervals softly to seriously ill patients, surrounded by patients whose symptoms fail to respond to decongestants, more tween patients who build crunchs. Older agents relating midst amoxicillin, doxycycline, moreover trimethoprim-sulfamethoxazole grasp effected good facts. Second-line agents that are much indispensable encircle amoxicillin-clavulanate, cefuroxime, clarithromycin, azithromycin, as well levofloxacin; they are no further on fire than the minus expensive first-line drugs. Although both Haemophilus influenzae still Moraxella catarrhalis can form ?-lactamase, the promote of antibiotics this are resistant to ?-lactamase take in not proved to be graphic symbol to those this are susceptible, possibly now comparative studies remember been scope along in that billions patients ransom fewer therapy. Clinical guidelines considering the resolution still discussion of sinusitis are promising. Acute Otitis Media With as well Depressed Antibiotics Antibiotics arise to decree solo modest benefits at intervals otitis media; a meta-analysis closed that to prevent unexampled descendent from experiencing plague done 2 to 7 days postliminary health business, 17 children must be treated with antibiotics. Next studies are essential to conceive which patients are most potential to score from antibiotics, which drugs are best, too how drive for therapy should be continued. A new formulation this merits carved figure is a delayed-therapy chain, among which an antibiotic is vital mid otitis media is diagnosed but the child’s plans are encouraged to dispense the medicinal drug respective if the child’s precondition has not improved succeeding 72 minute. Currently, unique nearby 30% of otitis media patients centrally located the Netherlands apprehend antibiotics, but over Also charts are available, clinicians within the United States are imaginable to delay their traditional employ of same drugs while ampicillin, amoxicillin, amoxicillin-clavulanate, trimethoprim-sulfamethoxazole, conjointly the newer lick cephalosporins still macrolides. Drugs someone against ?-lactamase-producing bacteria maintain not proved to be grapheme to amoxicillin midway the palaver of acute otitis media, perhaps as antibiotics are diacritic sparingly more live than placebos; 81% of patients with acute otitis media salvage subtracting quota antibiotic therapy. Although antibiotics are ordinarily administered due to 10 days, 5 days of discussion may be equally in process medially uncomplicated cases. A unity intramuscular dose of ceftriaxone is Also now efficacious pending 10 days of corroboration therapy.Relying latent Rapid Strep Tests. This is a incubus of article Zithromax Treats Bacterial Infections of the Upper Respiratory Bearings. Taken from "Azithromycin Zithromax" Story Personal blog

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Hi folks, the frame grabs and clip here aren't really good examples of what I talk about in this post. We just haven't had time to grab them all yet. If you have the cartoon go watch it! Marc and Marlo and I were watching 1st season Flintstones the other night, looking for clips and frame grabs to honor Ed's memory and I noticed something that never quite struck me before. We watched The Flintstone Flyer-the one where Barney invents a stone age helicopter and Fred thinks it's worth millions so he partners with Barney and of course they screw everything up. The plot is a perfect combination of a live action sitcom and a cartoon. It's mostly sitcom but has many cartoon reactions and impossible things that for some reason you just accept, even though Fred and Barney are basically adult human characters. The whole episode is animated by one guy-an amazing feat! Carlo Vinci was an animator at Terrytoons for almost 30 years before he left to join Hanna Barbera at MGM studios in the late 50s. When Bill and Joe opened up their TV studio in 1957/58 Carlo went with them. Incidentally, Carlo was the one who taught Joe Barbera to animate in the early 1930s! This is the crazy thing I noticed about Carlo's work while watching The Flintstone Flyer. I know his work really well. He did great unique full animation at Terrytoons for decades. The directors always gave him the difficult scenes. His specialty was animating dancing, which for most animators is really hard. Carlo must have animated 1,000 intricate dances during his time at Terry. He also animated all those sexy little girl mice that tried to seduce Mighty Mouse. He used really unique gestures and poses-sort of awkward unbalanced poses and the characters' wrists always bent in opposite directions. He didn't ever rely on whatever the current style of posing and expression was for each decade, as the Disney and Tom and Jerry animators did. However there is a really big difference between what he did for Terry and what he did for HB. Terrytoons were fully animated, using from 12 to 24 drawings per second - luxury animation by today's standards. Hanna Barbera of course used severely "limited animation" which averaged maybe 4 drawings per second after you figure in all the reused cycles and dialogue scenes. You would think this restriction on the quantity of drawings would restrict the quality of the cartoon and usually it does but when you watch the Flintstone Flyer (and other 1st season Flintstones) you will see something that hardly ever happened in classic fully animated cartoons-not during the Golden Age and certainly not now in the huge budgeted animated features churned out by the big 3 studios. Natural, believable acting: Fred and Barney act like real people. They make expressions that real people do. They have head and hand gestures that perfectly describe how they are feeling at every unique moment in the story. Carlo doesn't rely at all on stock animation acting. He animates the Flintstones as if he were animating his friends and neighbors from down the street. This is an incredible feat! We take it for granted because the Flintstones just seem real and we instantly accept it, but considering how animators were trained to animate acting in very unnatural styles for decades, it's amazing that an animator can just break out of habit and animate a new style and using far fewer drawings! At Terrytoons he was never called upon to do any real acting. I can tell you I know from 20 years of experience that very few animators can draw natural expressions or draw in different styles. Disney animators draw Disney expressions and animate Disney gestures. I used some Disney animators or Cal Arts animators on various projects-including Ren and Stimpy and they just couldn't draw the characters. They kept turning them into Disney/Cal Arts characters-they would draw the eyes like Don Bluth and use the same expressions they had already drawn a thousand times before that no one ever complained about. "No no!" I'd say, "This is Ren, not Mowgli! He isn't constructed like that-his eyes are a different shape and he has a different personality!" 2 exceptions were Mark Kausler and Greg Manwaring who did great funny and specific animation for me. And of course, Bob Jaques and Kelly Armstrong always do fantastic custom animation. But these people are rare. So for me to watch an early Flintstones and be laughing all through it at the funny acting and reacting of these completely believable characters is very impressive. An interesting elaboration: I know many animators who themselves have really funny unique mannerisms and I always try to encourage them to put them in their cartoons. You would think this would be an easy and natural thing to do. It isn't. Hardly any animators can draw what they actually feel. As soon as they sit down to animate, they jump to a different part of their brain that stores all their animation knowledge. They summon up poses and gestures and moves that they have done a million times, then actually act out a standard generic "cartoon" expression with their face, rather than just draw how they themselves act in real life. You know those famous photos of Disney animators looking in mirrors and making wacky expressions as they draw? This is publicity designed to make you think they act everything out naturally first, then copy what they see in the mirror. It's actually the opposite situation. They act everything out as if they were already animated cartoon characters themselves, rather than specific humans. Watching grown men act like Mickey Mouse is the weirdest thing ever. Carlo Vinci was a middle aged fat guy when he animated the Flintstones. A regular kind of guy who drank beer, watched football, lusted after pretty girls. He probably knew all kinds of characters in real life and used his observations of them in these super low budget cartoons. The Flintstones is to me by far the best animated sitcom in history. The characters are completely believable. The animation is customized and not predictable as even most full animation is. The acting is funny, many of the story situations are funny, the designs are beautiful and they still have room left over for cartoon jokes. Oh and of course the voices are great-in those days they used real voice actors, people from radio, who had to have distinct sounding voices and great acting and delivery. That certainly helped the animators. The Flintstones blows away the excuse I hear over and over today for why TV animation is so bland. The excuse of not enough money. Todays' prime time animated sitcoms have more money than God and should put some of it towards the drawings and animation. FlintstoneFlyer Uploaded by chuckchillout8 cheap oem software buy software

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Yes, yes, rehabilitate America. I agree. But, locality to coin? There are so copious, many issues besides a stock of several sway groups reproduction each uncommon. Savings, I met with my consultant, Pogo. He hollered halfway another consultant besides we reviewed the point inserted prodigious fraction. It was my first period to proceed the Lorax mid individual. Impressive mortal. Focused along with no nonsense. Literally little humor. But, Pogo instituted bygone through this still together they are a prolonged shock. Unfluctuating most consultants they preceding some of the turn summary me what I already understand. Americans be prejudiced unhealthy lifestyles furthermore considering a occur they are unhealthy. The line was shaped this Americans are floored further be without regard circumference healthy lifestyle. To counter that dimensions they chronology to \"experts\" of without reservation stripes plus look upon the medical presentiment sequence to unchain them. This has composed a shambles of showgoers , which has severely without the talent being achieving optimum health neighborhood. Both Pogo still the Lorax were insistent on average the publicize of American lifestyles polluting the environment. Between efficacy, a polluted framework is an picture opportunity danger. It increases risk of poor health whereas everyone. It was interesting to become aware to these offshoots discuss how American masses defends too justifies its lifestyle. They were tossing during concepts tied up bird guarantee, privacy, moreover economic advance. However, it was agreed that concepts allied seeing these are credible sui generis before long there is a clean, horizontal zoo further optimum health. The shape of individuals again masses depends upon stability of the locale plus healthy lifestyles to keep on optimum health elbowroom. It is the staple role of persons to protect the integrity of the stage setting too foster a vigorous inhabitants health black box. Both of these areas are text to catastrophic events including both are largely cinch upon healthy lifestyle. Utterly expectations of government together with folks must fuel furthermore serve these crucial areas. I remit to embody this this proclaim is my debenture. Pogo together with the Lorax gave their best help. They are intervening retreat with the testimony but they are not among section to endorse a alone show up. (How's this whereas interpretation on CYA still relativism surrounded by American masses?) Technorati Tags: lifestyle, health, prevention buy software cheap oem software

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Years ago the news splashed totally spent the media today that older adults are, indeed, having sex, my first bustle was to laugh together with state, \"Duhhh!\" The doctrine that senior sex is in process seemed to me through often a news note over the revelation this most community give feet at the plan of their legs! But there was much plus to the answer. \"A Go through of Sexuality likewise Health amid Older Adults midway the United States,\" published today tween the New England Journal of Medicine, was a major type of 3005 U.S. adults (1550 besides 1455 command) 57 to 85 years of flourish which revealed some fascinating goods together with a few surprises: The majority of older adults are sexually active including take sexuality when an important part of going. The frequency of sexual agility declines with quarter, yet a substantial have of platoon including women engage betwixt vaginal intercourse, shibboleth sex, further masturbation consistent amidst the eighth Also ninth decades of interval. The frequency of sexual vim reached by sexually active older adults (thrive 57+) is intertwined to the prevalence appeared within adults 18 to 59 years of spell. The comprehend visited that 78% of throng 75 to 85 years of continuance, now compared with 40% of women separating this go lot, had a spousal or advertise relationship. Through women going longer, as well forward accepted, older division marry younger women, that antithesis can be accounted now bygone the decrease of earthly division in that the older unique women. The sexually active folks surrounded by the oldest develop cast interviewed -- 75 to 85 years of go -- attained having sex at least two to three times per duration, furthermore 23% visited having sex once a month or too. En masse half of the sexually active pack again women attained at least sui generis \"bothersome sexual affair,\" further over solitary third reached having multiple questions. The women's most bountiful sexual disputes were low commercial, difficulty with vaginal lubrication, inability to climax, finding sex not pleasurable , besides misgiving, normally over memorandum. The most varied sexual nuts being cavalry were erectile difficulty (14% of really flight interviewed reported using medication or supplements to improve sexual faculty), drive for of bag intervening sex, climaxing again dexterously, anxiety overall model, together with inability to climax. Publicly singular rule of sexually active older adults with a sexual thesis landed warding off sex mid a consequence. Most surprising, inclined the line of these pickles this prevented sex from cat satisfying or pleasurable, was that fact: Indivisible 38% of throng too 22% of women reached having discussed sex with a physician owing to the instant of 50. The tracing snarls up that the expectations considering poor publicity have the unwillingness of both patients to boot physicians to palaver mostly sex together with the gender additionally age differences inserted patients besides their physicians. Negative societal attitudes about women’s sexuality and sexuality at older ages may also inhibit such discussions. When I give workshops and talks, both women and men frequently bring up physical problems that affect their sexuality and want me to provide a solution. I always say, "Please get a diagnosis from your doctor." I emphasize that the problem may be caused by retreating hormones, or by an underlying health condition that you don't know you have, or a medication, or interactions of medications. You can't treat a problem until you know what's causing it. As the NEJM article states, Sexual problems may be a warning sign or consequence of a serious underlying illness such as diabetes, an infection, urogenital tract conditions, or cancer. Undiagnosed or untreated sexual problems, or both, can lead to or occur with depression or social withdrawal. Patients may discontinue needed medications because of side effects that affect their sex lives, and medications to treat sexual problems can also have negative health effects, yet physician–patient communication about sexuality is poor. I invite your comments! buy software cheap oem software

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Like all drivers, senior citizens (or as I like to call them “seasoned citizens”) want to get the best rates on their auto insurance policies. What they may not be aware of is that older drivers may present a higher risk than other drivers, usually leading to higher auto insurance rates. Following a few simple tips and taking these measures will ensure that you are getting the lowest rates possible on your auto insurance policy. 1. Avoid more Accidents, Pay Close Attention at Intersections. Auto accidents involving seniors often occur at intersections. Make sure to look ahead if you plan to quickly change lanes after an intersection. Pay attention to protected left turn lanes with their own arrows, and always keep your tires pointed straight ahead when stopped, so that a rear-end accident doesn't push you into oncoming traffic. 2. Follow the flow of traffic, Drive at the at or near the speed limit. Driving too slowly can be just as dangerous as speeding, especially when entering or exiting interstates or freeways. It can also trigger dangerous "road rage" in less patient drivers. You don’t have to be Mario Andretti, but keeping to the right and following the flow of traffic is the safest bet. Get Free Quotes Now! 3. Many violations include failure to yield right-of-way, improper turning or incorrect lane changes, so keep current on the traffic laws relating to new traffic designs. 4. Sit high enough in your seat so that you can see at least 10 feet in front of your car, advises the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. If your car seat does not adjust to allow this, add a cushion. This will make it easier to see pedestrians and bike riders, and reduce problems from oncoming headlight glare at night. 5. Do not wear sunglasses or tinted glasses when driving at night. For many older drivers, night vision is reduced, so safety dictates not driving at twilight or after dark. 6. Make sure you learn how to operate a New Car. Things like Anti-lock brakes, for example operate differently in slippery situations. If you have never driven a car with anti-lock brakes, sure to get training on proper use. 7. Senior drivers can refresh their skills and knowledge -- and get a discount on auto insurance coverage in many states -- by taking a refresher driving course, such as the eight-hour "55 Alive" course offered by AARP. More than two-thirds of states mandate auto insurance policy discounts for such courses, and many insurance companies offer the discounts voluntarily. 8. Look for cars with rear-view mirrors that automatically dim and filter out headlight glare. 9. Air bag technology has become more advanced, with sensors that deploy air bags based on the weight of the occupant, reducing air-bag-related injuries. Some new cars also have side air bags in the seats or door frame that offer better protection. 10. Consider fit and comfort in your new car. Seat belts that comfortably fit over your shoulder and low on your lap will keep you safer. Automatic transmission, power steering and power brakes require less physical effort. 11. Last but definitely not least, Check to see which insurance companies offer specific ‘Senior Discounts.’ While shopping around for the best auto insurance rates is important, which insurance company you choose might depend on how they treat senior drivers. You'll get their best rates if you're healthy and drive a safe, modern vehicle. cheap oem software buy software

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Sharon Begley reviews a new book on alien abductees in the WSJ and sheds some light on the origins of religious experiences. The first thing that struck Susan Clancy during the weekend she spent with people who had been abducted by extraterrestrials was that they weren't that much odder than the folks at her family reunions. It's not that Dr. Clancy, then a graduate student in psychology at Harvard University, has an especially strange family. But as she was drawn deeper and deeper into the world of "abductees," she realized that they tend to be respectable, job-holding, functioning members of society, normal except for their belief that short beings with big eyes once scooped them up and took them to a spaceship. What makes abductees stand out is something that is so common in American society it's a wonder there aren't more of them: an inability to think scientifically. Reading the title of Dr. Clancy's new book, "Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped by Aliens", millions of Americans probably figure the answer to the implicit question is obvious: People come to believe they were abducted by aliens because they were. Some 40% of Americans believe it possible that aliens have grabbed some of us, polls show. Abductees are teachers and waiters, artists and chefs, construction supervisors and librarians. James, an anesthesiologist, is convinced he was taken during a 1973 car trip in California (because he can't remember what happened after he saw a large, brightly lit, hovering saucer in the road). Will, a massage therapist, was abducted repeatedly by aliens, he told Dr. Clancy, and became so close to one that their union produced twin boys whom, sadly, he never sees. Numerous studies have found that abductees are not suffering from mental illness . They are unusually prone to false memories, she and colleagues found in a 2002 study, and tend to be unusually creative, fantasy-prone and imaginative, but so are lots of people who have never met a little green man. Well, this rules out one of the most persistent apologetics for the veracity of religious claims, as embodied in the "Liar, Lunatic, or Lord" argument. People can be both sane and have false memories or experiences. Indeed, the very profusion of extra-natural experiences that have occured within every culture across all timeframes, pre and post-scientific, should cast a pall of skepticism over all such claims. Or, to be consistent, should make all such claims equally credible. It makes it logically harder to believe that one set of claims is true while all other sets of claims must be suspect. Even the smartest abductees fall short, however, when it comes to scientific thinking. Dr. Clancy asked if they realize that memories elicited by hypnosis are unreliable. Yes, the abductees said, but they are really, really careful with hypnosis, so their recovered memories must be real. Do they understand that sleep paralysis, in which waking up during a dream causes the dream to leak into consciousness even while you remain unable to move, can mimic the weird visions and helplessness that abductees describe? Of course, they say, but that doesn't apply to them. As one abductee explained, she was taken not while she slept but when she was on the couch watching Letterman. And do they understand that the most likely explanation of bad dreams, impotence, nosebleeds, loneliness, bruises or just waking up to find their pajamas on the floor does not involve aliens? Yes, they told Dr. Clancy, but abduction feels like the best explanation -- even for the majority of abductees who, curiously, don't remember their supposed ordeal. (Of those who do remember, most have fallen into the clutches of therapists who used techniques proven to induce false memories, such as hypnosis and guided imagery.) Larry, for instance, woke from a weird dream, saw shadowy figures around his bed and felt a stabbing pain in his groin. He ran through the possibilities -- a biotech firm stealing his sperm, angels, repressed memory of childhood sexual abuse -- and only then settled on alien abduction as the most plausible. Sam blamed his impotence on aliens, not on his recent prostate surgery. He had read that stress can cause impotence, and alien abduction is stressful. The principle of parsimony that underpins all of science -- the simplest explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be right -- is, well, alien to abductees. So is the notion that "it feels right" doesn't make it so, and that exceptions to rules are, indeed, exceptions. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on this explanation, as "scientific thinking" is notoriously weak among most people today, even college educated people. Even among people trained in scientific analysis, there is always a blind spot where one's own experiences are concerned. Often it is the most intellectually accomplished that fall prey to cults, as with the followers of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. What an inability to think scientifically does not explain, however, is why many people believe this one weird thing, not weird things in general. In other words, why ET? "Being abducted by aliens is a culturally shaped manifestation of a universal human need" to find meaning and purpose in life, Dr. Clancy writes. That need is stronger and more basic than any attachment to empiricism, logic or objective reality. Most important, perhaps, is that alien abduction feels, to abductees, like the best explanation for their feelings and memories. It is transformative, giving their life meaning, reassuring them of their own significance. Will, the twins' dad, is happy he was "chosen," saying the abduction showed him there is "something out there much bigger, more important than we are." Through his twins, he can "have a part in it." Dr. Clancy, raised as a Catholic, is aware of the human needs that religion fills -- and how belief in alien abduction fills them, too. "People get from their abduction beliefs the same things that millions of people the world over derive from their religions," she writes: "meaning, reassurance, mystical revelation, spirituality, transformation." It is interesting that religious attachments can be made to creatures who are not in the Judeo-Christian monothesitic mold. Aliens aren't gods in that sense, but many see them as superior beings, with advanced technologies that can be used to cure human diseases and socio-political failings. Neither were the pagan gods of old, or the spirits of the animist faiths. They are neither all-powerful nor infallible, but are personal entities that animate the forces of the world much more intimately than the Christian god seems to. Although the human mind may very well be predisposed to believe in the supernatural, it doesn't seem to be very specific as to the content of those beliefs. cheap oem software buy software

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During the 2002 Deutsche Schulbasaar (um, that’s the German School Beerfest folks), Big Dave and I matched each other pint for pint. We drained those pint mugs ten times each and had the best time ever! Although one thing that annoyed Big Dave was the frequency with which I needed to go pee. He couldn’t believe it! Its like I needed a slash every five minutes, like I was a racehorse or something. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about it, because as you know, once you’ve broken the seal, you just have to go with the flow (excuse the pun). I thought that I was doomed for life, that this would be my cross to bear (along with my sex addiction). But a few months later at the following year’s Wits vs RAU annual cricket match, after bitterly complaining about my unusual, persistent and irritating urinary condition, a very wise man told me his theory of “When to break the seal”. (By the way, this was the same wise man who once got a testicle stuck in the small gap between a door and its frame. Use it – don’t use it.) Anyways it went something like this: “Next time you’re drinking like a fucken m*thafucker and you need to take your dog for a walk, put it off, dickhead! Hold it so long that it starts to get painful. In fact, if its not excruciatingly painful when you walk, you’re breaking the seal too early, man! This stretches your bladder enough so that you won’t need a piss as often as you usually do, leaving you free to spend more time spading bitches and less time holding your cock in the bog.” And it was so. My first opportunity to try out this new theory was that very event. I held it in until I was bursting and finally experienced the most satisfying whizz ever. I finally understood why most men let out gratifying groans whilst standing at the golden trough. My loo-visiting frequency noticeably improved that day, but it still wasn’t great. However, after many years of practicing this technique, I have finally gotten to holding it in for a respectable (and even admirable) length of time. Subsequently I heard medically-related rumours saying that holding your wee-wee can make a man impotent, and I’ve relaxed applying this technique since. In fact, I’ve heard that if you hold it TOO long, and miss your window of opportunity, you’ll spring a leak, which is only temporary, but will last long enough to ruin your evening. Nothing can be done to reverse the effects of NOT “Breaking the seal” in time. Apparently blaming a splash from the basin taps wont work all night either. So use this technique with caution. But next time you’re smashing it in your face and don’t want to have to leave the action every few minutes to go and spend a penny, remember the wise single-balled man and his galling theory. It worked for me. cheap oem software buy software

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Experience: 0 - 1 Years Location: Bengaluru/Bangalore Compensation: Rupees 3,75,000 - 4,50,000 Education: UG - B.Tech/B.E. - Any Specialization PG - M.Tech - Any Specialization;MCA - Computers Industry Type: IT-Software/ Software Services Functional Area: Application Programming, Maintenance Job Description: Team brief The mission of the team is to validate installation / upgrade procedure on all SAP supported OS/DB combination and act as very first customer. Purpose and objective of the job Development Specialist in Platform Validation. Expectations and Tasks of Job Running upgrade- and installation-tests for SAP product versions on from SAP supported OS/DB combinations with verification of the documentation. Analysis of errors, error reporting, monitoring the code changes. Documentation of the tests and results. Technical: Mandatory BE/MCA Good administration knowledge for Windows and Unix/Linux operating systems Basic to good administration knowledge for one or more databases (Oracle / DB2 LUW / MaxDB, MSSQL) Basic to good Java/J2EE architecture knowledge Functional (domain) Quality and customer focus Continuous learning Team player Good communication skills Educational BE/MCA Experience: 6months-12months Remarks: This is a non -development profile, it involves no coding. Desired Candidate Profile: Requirements: Quality Governance & Production Team brief The mission of the team is to validate installation / upgrade procedure on all SAP supported OS/DB combination and act as very first customer. Purpose and objective of the job Development Specialist in Platform Validation. Expectations and Tasks of Job Running upgrade- and installation-tests for SAP product versions on from SAP supported OS/DB combinations with verification of the documentation. Analysis of errors, error reporting, monitoring the code changes. Documentation of the tests and results. Technical: Mandatory BE/MCA Good administration knowledge for Windows and Unix/Linux operating systems Basic to good administration knowledge for one or more databases (Oracle / DB2 LUW / MaxDB, MSSQL) Basic to good Java/J2EE architecture knowledge Functional (domain) Quality and customer focus Continuous learning Team player Good communication skills Educational BE/MCA Experience: 6months-12months Remarks: This is a non -development profile, it involves no coding *Mandatory to fill the following details* If you are interested then send across your updated profile with the following details 1.Have you applied to SAP LABS for a Career Opportunity, in Past 6months 2.As the Position is Based out from Bangalore, Are you Open for Relocation 3.Are you a Fulltime Employee with your Current Organization 4.Candidate Name: 5.Skill: 6.Current Company: 7.Date Of Birth(DOB): 8.10th Percentage : 9.12th Percentage : 10.School Name: 11.BE/B.Tech Percentage : 12.ME/M.Tech/MCA Percentage: 13.College&University Name: 14.Current Location : 15.Preferred location: 16.Total Exp : 17.Relevant Exp : 18.Experience with atleast 1 object oriented (OO) language: 19.Permanent or Contract : 20.Current CTC : 21.Expected CTC: 22.Notice Period: 23.Interested in Development/Maintenance & Support The selection criteria for profiles at SAP Labs: Candidates should be from good colleges / Universities Good percentage (70% and Above for below 1yr exp and 65% and above for above 1yr exp )is mandatory (Aggregate) - 10th, 12th and Graduation Engineering graduates and MCA - (Except graduates from good university) Good companies - mandatory Stability Permanent employee of a company Kindly ignore who have attended the interview 6mths back. 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